Games
by leppress
Summary: Vergil, Trish, Dante, non-romance, R-rated for language mainly. Very PWP, but from my warped little brain to yours.
1. Verbal Volley

"Bitch."  
  
"Asshole."  
  
"Slut."  
  
"Dicksmack."  
  
And it went on, continuously as it had for the past, what felt like an eternity, but had probably been less than five minutes. One couldn't convince one slightly annoyed, no, make that _highly _annoyed devil hunter of that however. He glanced from one to the other. His brother, curse him to hell and back was casually polishing a sword, as he tended to do. Couldn't fault him for that, weapons needed to be cared for, he knew that. Vergil knew it better it seemed, since he currently had what appeared to be an armorer's collection of weaponry at the side to the desk.

Everything from katanas to swords Dante hadn't seen in ages, and had basically tossed aside for others...He glanced at the other desk, saw Trish busily working away at paper work. Ironic that a demon would find interest in such mundane affairs, even as she too tossed the verbal assault back like some sort of bizarre tennis match. But...He rubbed his hand over his face, and sat back, deciding to ignore it, so far they hadn't moved from their respective corners.

"Dumbass." He quirked an eyebrow, that was directed at Vergil, who being the more proper, if one could call the uptight attitude of his, 'proper', had volleyed back with, "Whore of Satan."

"Oh yeah? You're his long lost spawn. What'd they do? Cast you away because you were too small?"  
  
"Mommy????"

Dante winced, THAT would irk Trish, she hated it when either of them reminded her of the fact she more than resembled their dearly departed mother. He pretended not to watch, and not to care, as his hand slid down his side toward his gun...

She merely snorted, "Had I been? I would have shot myself on the spot."

"Too bad."

Maybe it was over, he could breathe now. But...

"Slime."  
  
"Oh baby, I knew you loved me."  
  
HAD Vergil actually said THAT? Dante really looked at his brother, and shook his head. Still polishing away at a sword as if he hadn't a care in the world.

"You know it stud." Trish blew a kiss at him, and kept right on writing.

What were those two smoking and why hadn't they shared? He shook his head, and waited. It'd escalate now. And...

"Best you never had."  
  
"I thank GOD every day for that."  
  
"So do I. But just think, of all the fine times we could have had."  
  
"Oh yes, I am withering away with misery due to that fact. I pine for you."

If she put any more drama into it, he'd present her an award, Dante thought. He glanced again at the two of them. Still acting like nothing had happened.

"But...I don't like dogs."  
  
"Woof babe."

"Jackyl."

"Vulture."

"Sleaze queen."

"Man whore."

Dante rolled his eyes, if they were gonna rip each other's throats? He'd let them. He got up, cast them both a disgusted look and walked out, muttering, "Go ahead kill each other. I don't give a shit anymore." He slammed the doors after himself.

"What's his problem?" Trish looked up toward Vergil, and asked that.

"I haven't a single notion."  
  
"If you ever did? I'd be impressed, you're such an airhead."  
  
"You love me."

"Like I love herpes."

"See? I knew you did." He winked, as she grinned back at him. Both went back to their respective work.


	2. Avoidance Racing

The screech made him wince. She obviously had been taking lessons from banshees, or his brother in his infinitely bizarre way had decided on a new pet. With a shrug, Vergil went back to polishing one of the many swords his brother had collected over the years. 

Then he noted with what could be called vague interest the red, black, and silver streak that blew through the office, laughing for all the world like a rabid hyena. He quirked his eyebrow as he heard the office door slam shut after the streak went through. His brother was fast, he'd give him that. He went back to the chore at hand. Only stopping when he sensed the presence in front of him. 

With the same interest he'd shown the streak, he looked up. And bit back a grin. She was soaked from head to toe, and fuming. If anyone could blow smoke out their ears, Trish would be doing it. As it was, she looked as if she'd happily murder something. "Yes?" 

"WHERE IS that...that...DEMON SPAWN!" She glared at him. 

"That spawn as you so aptly put it, happens to be my brother. But, I've yet to hear a more accurate description." He went back to polishing the sword. Biting back the grin that was fighting its way past his control as she emmited a snarl worthy of a tiger on the scent of a crippled deer. "As to where it--he, is? I've no idea." 

Trish got her temper under control, she'd been doused with an entire gallon of water. Not just water, nooooooo, he had to use ICE water. She looked at Vergil, said very pleasantly, "Why do I think you're lying?" 

"I wouldn't lie to you now would I?" 

She pounced him, and grabbed his shirt, "You'll tell me now, or I'll..." When he looked at her, and smirked, she bared her teeth, "You're in LEAGUE with him! I know you are!" She gave his shirt a tug, "TELL ME!" 

"Trish, you're being unreasonable, and while I find this all somewhat disconcerting, and probably far more amusing, I really don't know where he went." 

"Men are cowards. All of them." She let go of his shirt, and got off him stiffly, "You two are the worst of them." In a huff she stalked back into the kitchen.


End file.
